I don feel angry with you anymore
I wanted to ask, if you are doing well
But I don noe if you will wan to say
What is past has passed
Its been some time, though maybe not that long
I feel glad that you seems to be happy now
I hope you have truly no burdens on your shoulders now
Because your tiny shoulders deserve to be free
The monochrome is still on the wall
Remembering that there used to be such a day
Hope you will find back the same happiness
And be the rainbow you used to be

jiayou

So surprised to see you today.. and wearing jeans!!
It must have been the first time.. though I couldn't hear what you were saying
And I pretend I heard it.. can always ask u another time ma~ haha..
I'm so sorri for the morning meeting.. this is the cumulation of days and nights of slogging.. I should have bathed before seeing you all.. because I felt super awake after that.. and this was one tutorial that I really felt interested and passionate for.. things hasn't been like this for a long long time

I'm glad for the way things are now.. I'm scared of changes.. not scared.. but dislike..
But I'm thankful for the way.. things are now..

I hope.. come 22 days later.. things will turn out the way I hope it does..

So I have chosen my PA company.. I hope god bless me and all my friends.. and that all of us will be able to get what we chose..

It was a fun and wide variety of companies that all of us had chosen.. from the prestigious PWC to giantic coy General Electrics.. from 'first' in industry.. Pioneer Ltd.. to people having star dreams and applying for Mediacorp radio and tv. it's such a big, fun, and funny variety..

As for me.. I chose Apollo Management and ARB AMRO.. two companies which were not in my first choice until today..

Up to today.. I was looking and thinking about the two different routes that I can take.. one is the accountancy one.. and the other is the investment line.. It actually din take me very long.. because deep inside, I knew that I was more interested in the investment line.. so despite all the facts about PWC being a practical choice and that I should try to enter there now and get a standing in the coy, since it is the most likely choice that I might take in the future, I did not put it down. i also sacrificed Credit Swiss because I think that i am not learnt enough to go into their equity valuation department, and will probably suffer there as a result, especially since I had not taken the investment module. And for the other departments, they were not within my interests too..

Apollo is an asset management company.. and their demands isn't as great.. that's the simplest reason for me to choose this company.

As for AMRO.. it came as a surprise.. but when I took a look at them, I really like the fact that they were putting interns through a product development project, which includes taking a look into the market risk and current prices of products.. and giving them a chance to come into contact with real-life product valuation.. and they have a well-structured 10-weeks course for it..

As a good friend says to me.. follow your heart.. it will never go wrong.. (den my gd fren pang seh me).. haha but true enough.. I wun have regret missing out on PWC, Credit Swiss, Royal Bank of Scot. (HH I din tua u!), National Aust Bank.. I wun regret my choices!


On another note.. as I was with weilong in weichee and lingling's room.. I suddenly had a kind of feeling.. a kind that I never really felt with friends before.. that.. we feel like a family.. not just the 4 of us.. but that.. amount the whole group of us.. I actually feel that we are like a real family.. that we are so comfortable with one another now.. really nice feeling..

And on a last note.. it was nice meeting up with 21 brothers last weekend.. haha esp ALVIN CHEW who wanted to defriend me because i never posted his name on my blog.. hahaha stupid idiot!!!! really wanted to play soccer with u last wkend de la.. but got something on ma.. i will show u robinho's skills soon k? haha.. and grats jacky.. i am.. really.. really happy for u.. grats for being so clear.. for being able to identify and think logically at a time when we both struggled.. and now you are sowing the rewards of ur choice.. grats.. n i really look forward to this jun.. =)! jiayou ah!!!...

5.55am.. and still up
doing 219 project..
for a moment.. i tot of paying online fee to buy answer
but i think.. wat's the point..
better be down to earth.. get back to it..
wake up wake up..
don sleep!!

reading your post a few days ago.. actually brought me smiles..
i'm sorri i haunted you for the past one year
even though i tried to make up for it.. i never could do anything
i heard you are doing well now
i heard you are being taken care of now
i'm glad you are.. and i hope your life will be happy
and you will be as happy as you ever were
and i will pray for you.. that this will be happiness
=) its a stone.. that has finally been removed..
and i hope.. this stone will never fall back into **
i hope in my living days
i will see you smile once again

Happy days seems to be over..
Its schedule after schedule after schedule..

its busy busy feb and mar..

marketing.. risk management.. taxation.. equity securities *2.. NVM.. citibank.. sgx.. PA.. usep.. IG scrabble *2.. x-physique.. birthday.. soccer *few.. i'm such an all-rounder..hahaha

I'm so glad for having all my project mates.. every project is a joy this sem.. seriously.. I like my tax mates.. my risk mates..my mkting mates (though we are slightly not that close yet).. my bf mates

i'm getting so interested in accounting and finance side of corporations.. i want to noe why things work, and how things work, why stocks move the way they are, why corporations behave the way they are.. how people make decision with respect to buy-sell products

if only life stays the way it is now.. there is so much to look forward to everyday.. i hope nothing change.. i'm happy now

I really.. think the journalist who suggested renaming UBS to United Bank of Singapore.. really sucks.

How can you play around with the name of an organisation which is the pride of the country.. like so what if Singapore pump in money to them.. very big meh?

If someone offer $1m to help his family out in some kinda crisis.. does it mean he should rename himself to follow that person's surname?

Can that person please use some brain when writing.. and its on national newspaper for god's sake.. pig brain

GoGo! team LAY &Co!

GoGo JiaYou!!!

A supposed jog turns out...

to be climb(s) up the nanyang house stairs multiple times..

and all of us start to pant..

hei hei chuan..

There are 2 wonderful books which I managed to kope from Woodlands library this morning.

I sneaked them into Honghan's bag.. haha I hope he has a nice time reading them!



Its 20th today.. 11 more days to February.. I'm so looking forward to Feb.. so many things will happen.. almost everyday. I hope it'll be the funniest(most fun) month of the year.. got birthdays.. new years.. hexis.. surf sweat.. project datelines.. v-day(at lee foundation =(my god! )
I'm gonna make sure I go NUS to visit my nus friends next monday.. something I haven done for the past 1.5 yrs!

Like.. a 100 burning questions inside me..
When I see the option.. even though its just a 2-liner

Is it appropriate to try for bank PA.. now that they are retrenching people?
Even if I do go to one, what do I really know about their operation?
Am I realli qualified and suited there?
What if I don get a placing there, will I regret not opting for a normal coy like the rest do?
EY has so many people there.. if I go bank.. I'll probably be alone and lost



Gonna meet my mentor on monday.. thank god I have her..



I'm so glad I have monday free.. it's truly like my admin day, where I can go visit my friends, meet people for lunch or dinner, print notes, do activities I wana do but seldom had time to, finish up homework and prepare so as to be a better project mate (else weidian gona niam me again!)


Interesting fact.. I have 13 different project mates this sem.. I love nbs.. =)~

There is something that really makes me itchy and therefore I really wants to say it out

A few nights ago, I went to refill my water bottle at the water cooler at the far side of my block level. Of coz, I went there holding my water bottle which can holds 1 litre of water, and which is currently orange in colour.

My excitement to drink plain water was totally damped by a sight I saw. This wonderful guy at one room near the water cooler was sitting down in a very cool position, 2 legs on the floor and decently with a shirt on, and playing on his computer. But what totally turns me off was that he wasn't wearing any shorts and had only his WHITE UNDERWEAR on and his door was WIDE OPEN!!! holy holy shit.. Although I have heard about it from some of my juniors when they went door-to-door visit last time, I never see it for myself so I din bother thinking about that. But when I see it for myself, real-time, as real as realplayer, I was astonished. Is this the way people from the great republic of ***** lives? That they like to air their thigns? Then they can have tiger thigns? Or to use the UV ray from our room lights to tan their legs so that they can look more black~ yoyoyo~.. or wat?

And now everytime I walk pass the room, I feel a sense of.. nervousness, not the heart-pumping one when you walk pass the person you like, not the sense of happiness when you finally see someone you haven seen since birth, but the AED shock machine-hit-your-chest-and-make-your-pulse-jump-from-0-100 nervousness, hopeing that the dear guy will kindly close his door and tan himself there.

I think maybe I am abit too critical here, but I feel grossed.. but I wana thank him.. for giving me this heart-pumping sensation that I hadn't had for a long long time

people.. whoever is reading this..
please help to donate blood at the blood bank in ntu.
it's open till this friday evening.
so if you have time.. please.. make a trip down to sac and make a small donation
your blood will go a long way to helping someone..
and maybe someone will live.. because of you
there is something that money cannot buy.. and that is life
there is something that only you can give.. and that is life too

I feel.. that I'm not really cut out to be an accountant
I mean.. I really prefer something that has more to do with maths
Something that I can work around with.. and do something to
Like give me some numbers.. let me calculate them.. and decide on how next to make more money
I really feel.. that I prefer that type of life
Rather than one.. where I have to check where physical money is moving
But has no say in how to generate them.. or how to invest them and make more money

Everytime I go for an accounting class.. I feel that I am wasting time there
Because I don like to learn how to be ethical and how to handle company risk
I don like to learn how to conform to standards from books
or just do anything people ask us to do

Everytime I go for BF classes.. be it last sem.. or be it this sem
I feel so much happier there
I feel that what I learnt is so much more useful
Like how I can really value a company.. and learn how to value stocks and bonds
Rather than learning about the risk in managing people from a company.. making them happy bla bla.. which are like so fei..
And in BF.. even though I dono most of the people there
The people I'm taking it with really makes me very happy

Last year it was yingjia.. who is really like my mentor..
I thank her for helping me get my BF book..
And studying with me.. slacking. and not listening to the teachers together
Its like.. we really dono wat the teacher is talking.. but we still like the module alot
Maybe its because its something we both know we can excel in
And something that we can study ourselves and get thru with it
And something that is more practical.. learning how stocks are actually being valued.. not by some tom dick or harry deciding by instinct on the price.. but by a method.. a proper method

And this sem it is cheryl.. I'm really fortunate to have a companion for my bf class this sem
Because I tot I will have to take it alone.. which will really suck
Because no matter how much I like it.. I have to admit I need support for bf.. because it's not my core.. and it still feels like a GE to me even though it takes as much weightage as my core modules
I'm digressing.. but I feel really happy going for this bf class.. because I know I like the teachings there.. the stuffs they are teaching us

Look.. why do we have to learn about risk management? wat crap about handling risk in a company? about how a mission statement have to be put in place otherwise a company can face downfall?.. compare it to really learning how to value other companies so that a company can make sound investment.. which one sounds more useful?

And sadly.. I tink I mite have to go to an audit firm after I graduate.. because that is my major.. even if I go to a bank.. I'll probably be all alone and not very sure on what to do..

Now I pray.. that maybe my mentor will go to a bank and pull me in! hahaha... otherwise I'll probably end up in EY.. with honghan.. weilong and co.. and my jc friends.. and my sis.. maybe my bro.. but yucks.. I don wan..

I wan somewhere more dynamic.. where our decisions are more important and can be fundamental to a company's growth.. I want that..

Is any company listening to me?

I'm a late nite creature, who cannot seems to fall asleep before 4am.
The problem is, I can't help sleeping in the middle of the day.
As a result, I get too awake once 12am strikes.
And I know I cannot fall into sleep, no matter how hard I try.
This has been carrying on ever since I come into uni, and will probably carry on for some time.
I'm glad, my family members are all like that.
So that you hear noises all the time, like now, at 2.15am, there is still alot of noise.



Anyway I read about this haunted story in one of the halls in NTU..

It goes that 2 good friends were roomies of a particular room, in a particular block of a certain hall.
A is a hardcore clubber while B is those guai guai student who does not enjoy an active night life.
So one day A went to club and came back half drunken, but somehow manage to find her way back room.
It was late in the night when she returned back hall, and because she din want to wake her roomie up, she din turn on the lights and instead fell straight onto her bed and slept.
The next day, when she woke up, she turned her head..
And she saw her roomie's entire body chopped up, face bloodied and disfigured.

And on the wall beside her bed.. read a paper post

'Aren't you glad you din turn on the lights?'

tonight's supper.. was the best in weeks

slowly.. but surely.. things will be back to normal

since you started working.. you have been getting better.. and better

no more negative thoughts.. and getting more n more optimistic

now you will understand about the importance of time.. and i'm so sure it will be the start of something great

everything is falling into place

without 4 more months.. i'm sure you will be out just like sis

going to where you belong

*jiayou*

If you are willing to take a chance, the view from the other side is spetacular

YaY~ I just finished my first proper swim in NTU pool for the year 2008! HaHa.. I was pleasantly surprised to see so many people there early in the morning. I think they were all like me, wanting to be fit and with a body of Arnold S.

I rmm there was this one time last year when I studied till 7-8am, and I remembered Ashley's comments a few days ago about me being white.. so I actually went to the pool side to tan and take a short nap.. and I ended up lying there for 4-5 hours.. and woke up being darker than an Indian. This time though, I could only lie there for 5 mins coz I was supposed to have a project meeting in the afternoon.. and guess who I saw~ Alex Yeo.. my pageant co-chair last year. He seems to have grown a belly.. because his stomach looks to have a few layers..hahaha.. okie mine looks somewhat similar too.. =(

*When two lesbians are together.. they are not called lessing.. because there is no word called lessing.. but it can be permutated to singles.. meaning two lesbians are actually two singles*
-random post of the year- I deserve to be on NLB's blog archive! hahahahaha

does anyone wants to sell their BF 219 book? I'm super reluctant to buy it.. because I consider it as a non-core module after all.. n the book cost a whopping $57~.. and I don even noe if I'll still need to use the book after this time..

mm and another thing to note.. the coy law book is selling at a mega-swooshing-double-cheeseburger price of $65!.. how come each book is getting more expensive than the previous one..

school life has truly started.. I wonder if my schedule will be the same everyday.. go lesson.. come back.. eat.. faint.. wake up.. stone.. read abit.. insomia..

To keep up my record of one post per day.. I shall blog something over here.. haha.. so that someone will tink i'm very free =)~..hahaa

So school has started.. I feel very blessed to have a group of friends whom I am comfortable with, and whom I know will always be there and whom I can stick with even if I'm really upset or unhappy, and doesn't feel like talking at all.

I know.. that actually I'm quite a zi bi person.. that i don't really like to talk alot, even though I try to talk more when I'm with friends.. and that I don't really like to ask people out, even though i try to get friends out once in a while because I cherish some friendships..

I was talking to Hongjing a few days back.. and we were talking about chatting on phones.. den actually.. I'm the type who normally don't initiate to call anyone for trivial talk, because I don't like to waste others' time, and I will wonder if the party will feel disturbed by me and that they don't really want to talk to me, just that they are polite enough not to tell me that..

I think that is really zi bi.. and a really low-sense of self confidence.. but.. I'm really like that.. and probably because I don like to guess how people think of me.. and .. ahh.. i wonder where this is going..haha.. so in the end.. I'll only call people.. when I feel that I really want to talk to them.. and even then.. very very little people are able to fall into this group.. tink this is a personality.. not a bad one.. not a good one.. just.. a personality.. a trait.


I was thinking of doing some readings tonite.. but i felt no mood to start it.. so I went over to find Honghan.. and he too had no mood for it.. I guess his mind is 75% occupied with his table tennis comp.. mm jiayou o HH~ we'll all try to go down and support u this friday.


this sem's timetable seems like the toughest of all sems.. but I also get the feeling.. this will be my happiest sem in NTU. Every thing.. every single puzzle.. is slowly falling into place..

* Listened to Angela sing -tears- while playing mahjong just now.. now I really like the song.. even though I don't understand the jap lyrics.. but the music pretty much sums up the emotions of the song.. I guess.. being an ex-band member... a song that makes me fall for it is not the lyrics.. but just the music*

Labels: l

I'm like.. totally burnt out just before school reopen
I din play alot.. but I feel so weak.. and I can probably sleep the whole day through if I want
But still~~ I managed to drag myself out to meet someone today

Rily glad to meet weibin during this holiday cause its the last day for me and I noe I probably wun see him anymore until he comes back next november.. He's one of those.. random friend that I have whom I don see often, but really feel comfortable to hang out with. Okiee random is not a right word.. I noe him from my medic course last time.. we used to be very close but drifted after he goes Australia to pursue his med(mad) degree so now we meet up once a yr.. and it will be this for the next 4 years..haha..

I finally swam and tanned after a month of procrastination.. and halfway I suddenly remembered I am supposed to take IPPT with Qingfu and Bryan in January. What's worse is Bryan's birthday is in February so he must take in this month. But I haven train up yet.. so I tink I shall swim and visit the sch gym (i only go there once) more often this month.

And my BF fren finally got the wed timeslot after so much problems with the admin side.. I think the NBS phone should be renamed the "call me whatsoever problems you have" hotline.. coz they rily rox.. they will listen to any single problem you have.. only thing is they aren't able to impose your suggested solution most of the time.. hah~ last dinner at home!

I came across this movie called '44 minutes - north hollywood shootout', bout 2 robbers giving up their life in a fatal confrontation with the american police. They fought, standing there in front of the bank of america, exchanging gunshots with the police. They stood unmoved, knowing that they will never win, knowing that there will be continuously reinforcement for the police, knowing that they will never make it out of there alive. But there they stood, firing and firing.. until they were eventually shot.. and died.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AaKNMMuxQI

I wonder if I were them at that moment, will I have the guts, not to commit such crimes that destroy others' lifes, but to stand up brave, and fight for wat I believe in till my last breathe..




I had a talk with someone over supper.. I am praying to god, that he will continue to grow up to believe in himself. Believe that he is someone special, believe that he can do anything, that anything is possible. Let him not lose hope, and have faith in himself, just like all of us will continue to have, faith in him.

I was looking around my hall room last night.. and I realise.. that it's very messy, like what many people say. But contrary to wat they think, despite its messiness, its actually very cosy. And I really mean it, because this is where I know I can come to anytime, without a pressure to make sure everything are put at where they are supposed to be, knowing I can wear anything I want, do anything I want, play any music I want, and yet not feeling lonely.

I think I've got a really wonderful roomie.. we had a bunch of noisy and wonderful people with us when we bunk together in army.. but now there are only 2 of us, and its just as good.

I noe he doesn't read this blog.. but I still wana thank god its him I'm staying with.
He doesn't mind the room being lighted up 24 hrs, and we can both sleep with lights on, so we can do our stuffs anytime during the day, be it 4pm, 4am.. anytime
We try to keep the room clean, but we are not particular about having a speck of dust at the side of the floor.. not jie pi ba i tink (yes my jc frens.. i noe this word!)
We can tok abt anything under the floor, under the roof, under the ceiling(and some pple still tink we r not close..hahaaa =( )
He noes my wonderful and never-ending story, I noe his 'auntified girlfriend'
We have a bunch of wonderful common friends
=> We can exchange textbooks after each sem, save money!
We live near each other, so we can go home together sometimes

Next sem mite be our last sem staying in hall already.. coz we both wana move back home.. I rily hope that this will be a very fun sem.. give me a good memory b4 i go!



Supposed to go home tonite one.. but got summoned by paul and gang.. I hope QF's dance end super super duper late today.. so he can only go back w me tmr morning! hahahahahahah

i
am
spending
my
2nd
day
of
2008
watching
strangers
playing
wei
qi
.
whole
day
.

the first day of 2008 has passed

I wanna thank the kokster group for spending this day with me
Honghan, Weilong, Hongjing, Huizi, Xiefen, Weichee, Xinyi
It was really.. really enjoyable spending the nite with u guys

From the dinner at lot 1, to watching some golden something show on channel 8, to playing winter olympics n breaking records, to suppering at segar CC, to enjoying sea breeze at the famous BP reservoir =)!!, to tokking and listening to jay chou's songs, it was really really nice to start the year this way

I've always said that 2007 holds secrets and knowledge sacred to me.
I know this is the year, when I understand so much more about myself, so much more about me.
I also realise that in everything, there is a cause, and there is an end. But more importantly, there is a reason.
There is a reason why everything happen, because life is like a journey, a learning journey. God has created a path for us, and has structured different obstacles for everyone, so that we can learn, so that we can grow, so that we can know.

Everything happens for a reason. This is perhaps the most important sentence that I have come to learn of this year

I'm looking forward to re-visiting my 2nd alma mater this weekend. I want to constantly remind myself of where I come from, so that I can continue to live life to the fullest!

Derrick aka "handsome boy"

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